The upside-down apple tart that was supposedly invented by accident. The caramel is the whole point. Use a proper ovenproof skillet.

Five pounds of onions, three hours, one transcendent bowl. The caramelization cannot be rushed. Anyone who says 30 minutes is lying to you.

Vanilla custard, a millimetre of burnt sugar. The ratio is 1:5 yolk to cream. Do not compromise.

Chicken braised in an entire bottle of Burgundy. The French answer to boredom. Takes 4 hours and cannot be rushed.

The original low-and-slow. Julia Child didn't invent this, she just made it approachable. Two-day version here — day one braise, day two it's perfect.

Ground wagyu instead of pork. Richer, more luxurious, slightly less traditional. Worth the upgrade for a special occasion.

Lamb shanks take the same treatment. Slower braise. The lamb version is technically Italian too, just less known.

Liquid smoke in the rub, very low oven, overnight cook. Gets you to 80% of the real thing. For apartment cooks who want to try.

Make the roux from scratch — toast curry powder, add fat, onion, apple, and stock. Eliminates the S&B block and is significantly better.

Roasted cherry tomatoes in a thyme and balsamic caramel. Gruyere in the pastry. Not dessert.

Pancetta instead of guanciale. Easier to find, slightly more smoky. Not traditional but honest.

One lobster tail per pan. Keep it cold-smoked or just stir it in at the end. The decadent version.

Keep the Parmesan rind in throughout cooking, and finish each bowl with proper grated Parmesan. How Tuscans actually make it.

Cubed lamb shoulder marinated and grilled. The same masala sauce but richer. Better the next day.

The Provencal cousin: add green olives, orange peel, and anchovy. Less Burgundy, more sun.

Add salmon fillets in the last 8 minutes of simmering. Fish sauce restores the depth that soy sauce can't quite replicate.

Finish smoked thighs with a hot sauce and butter glaze instead of the white sauce. Best of both worlds.

Day-old croissants filled with frangipane, topped with flaked almonds and icing sugar. The correct use of a croissant that didn't sell.

One egg yolk added per serving makes the sauce richer and helps with emulsification. Somewhere between carbonara and cacio e pepe.

No smoker? No problem. Liquid smoke and a very long low oven gets you 80% of the way there. Respectable brisket for apartment dwellers.

Lamb shoulder is more traditional than beef in Jalisco. Earthier, gamier, outrageously good. A proper weekend project.

Pan-fried halloumi cubes instead of eggs. Unexpected, totally vegan-friendly if you want, and much more party-friendly.